Thursday, 14 December 2017

Melancholy baby

Blue Christmas
It’s how I’m feeling at the moment. Last Christmas was poignant but I coped. Stoical. Yet this year I’m really struggling. I’ve spent all morning trying to decorate the Christmas tree. Every little thing seems too much. Lights not working, batteries to change, all result in tears.
At what point does grief become self indulgent? I don’t know the answer. I spent time yesterday looking at Christmas cards for ‘my husband’, knowing I wouldn’t be buying one.

I want to write. I ought to write. Writing is a good therapy. Let the thoughts and emotions spill out onto paper - get it down, get it out. And this is as good a place as any to start. 

Does writing things down help you?


  1. Christmas must be such a difficult time for those who're grieving. There's so much emphasis on being with those we love and pressure to be happy – and sometimes we just can't.

  2. Always difficult when things have happened and it takes time. Writing things down helps some people.

    Hope you can find some enjoyment this Christmas.xx

  3. Hi Bea, my response is late, and Christmas is all but a distant memory now. I hope you were able to have a peaceful few days.
    My best friend lost her husband in January 2016, she has good days and bad days - it's to be expected, and this Christmas has been particularly difficult for her. Be gentle with yourself.
    As for the writing, it's a difficult thing, in answer to your question, yes writing has helped me when I've been upset or bothered by something. I've written a short story, and made someone hateful a murderess, and I've written bad poetry about grief and loss, and I've written random stuff for no reason other than it felt good to let go on the page.
    Last year, I did 'Morning Pages' - 12 weeks of writing 3 pages upon rising, it was mostly rubbish that came into my head, and that was most definitely therapy as I was going trough a bad time with a few different things. If you don't know it, it's all in a book by Julia Cameron and I really can recommend it. You're also encouraged to go on Artist's dates with yourself, which by the way, don't have to be arty as the name suggests. They can be anything really where you spend time with you, doing something different. The process was helpful for me.
    Sorry I've blathered on, I was passing and wanted to see how things are with you.
    Best wishes for a better 2018

  4. Thank you, Patsy, Carol and Maria for stopping by and taking the time to comment. I really appreciate your kindness. Christmas wasn’t as bad as I feared - I’ve taken some space to be by myself which has helped, then launched back in with the family. Morning pages is an excellent idea, Maria. Definitely one for the new year. Best wishes to you all.